How He Copes with MS

Whatever issue you’re facing, a support group may help

“Creativity and companionship can be powerful factors in healing.”

Brett Weber, 36, of Allentown, Pa., didn’t let multiple sclerosis (MS) stop him from completing his Ph.D. and becoming a college professor. But when the disease progressed, he switched his focus to another passion, art—and shared it with his MS wellness group. The members use painting to express their feelings, “creating something that is uniquely their own,” Weber says. “Painting has made a real difference in my life. It makes me feel good knowing that something I decided to do for myself during one of the lowest moments in my life is now helping other people."

Consider a Support Group If…

• You don’t know where to turn for answers.
• You feel helpless and out-of-control.
• You’ve stopped going places and doing things you used to do.
• You feel profoundly sad and cry a lot.
• You’ve isolated yourself from family and friends.
• You feel anxious about your condition or situation much of the time.

For life’s usual ups and downs, you can call on friends and family for support. But when a crisis hits, it may be too much for them—or you—to handle without reinforcements. Enter the support group. “Whether you’re dealing with a serious illness, a life change like new parenthood or divorce, or some other major challenge, a support group can help see you through it,” says head of the cancer support team Ulla Martz of Lehigh Valley Hospital and Health Network.

Practical help and education are key parts of most support group meetings. The group leader can direct you to community resources for financial help, counseling or equipment you might need. You can learn what questions to ask your doctor, or how to prepare for surgery. In groups focused on a chronic illness, speakers inform members about the latest research, the role of nutrition and other important matters. And support group members share strategies that help them cope—with anything from the loneliness of widowhood to a toddler’s tantrums to how to use a prosthesis.

Just as important is the emotional support that group members share. “Support networks validate your feelings,” Martz says. “You may try to downplay your situation with your loved ones to protect them, but in a support group you’re with people going through the same thing. They understand your fears and frustrations.” You get inspiration and encouragement from people who are taking charge and coping successfully. “Women are usually comfortable giving and receiving emotional support in a group setting,” Martz says, “while men typically join for the practical advice. But they, too, soon discover the comfort of sharing their feelings.”

Some groups, like those for dieters or cancer survivors, tend to be led by a peer, a person you can relate to because he or she has “been through it.” Other groups are led by a professional with training specific to your illness or issues. He or she is usually knowledgeable about other resources and can refer you if needed. All facilitators try to ensure that everyone in the group gets a chance to be heard.

“Some people manage to cope well without a support group,” Martz says, “but why try to soldier on alone when help is available?” Your doctor can refer you to a group, or you can come on your own. Most group sessions are free of charge.

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